I've messed up so badly I don't even deserve to come back to You.

You don't have to earn your way back. The son in the story ran out of everywhere else to go before he turned around — but his father had been watching the road the whole time. Coming home was never about deserving it. It was always just about coming.

The conversation

The child: “Daddy God, I've messed up so badly I don't even deserve to come back to You.”

God: “I've been watching the road since the day you left.”

The child: “You're not angry?”

God: “There was a son once who took everything his father gave him and wasted all of it. He ended up so low he was jealous of what the pigs were eating.”

The child: “What made him come back?”

God: “He ran out of everywhere else to go. But that's not the part of the story that matters.”

God: “He didn't ask for an explanation first. He just held him.”

God: “I didn't put conditions on it. I put a robe on him instead.”

The child: “But after everything I did?”

God: “Coming home was never about earning it back. It was always just about coming.”

The child: “I don't feel like I deserve that.”

God: “You don't have to feel worthy to come home. You just have to come.”

The child: “Okay. I'm coming home.”

God: “I've already started running.”

"For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry." Luke 15:24, KJV