I have children and no idea what I'm doing. What if I ruin them?

Parenting invites a very particular fear — that a mistake made now will be permanent. The proverb is careful about its timing: it promises what holds when he is old, which quietly allows for all the years in between. And the way named is his, not the one you would have chosen.

The conversation

The child: “Daddy God, I have children and no idea what I'm doing. What if I ruin them?”

God: “Every parent who loved their child has asked that. The fear means you care.”

The child: “What does it say about raising them?”

God: “'Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart.'”

God: “'In the way he should go.' Not the way you went. Each child has a bent.”

The child: “What if they go their own way?”

God: “It says when he is old. Not when he is young. There may be years between.”

God: “You don't need to be a perfect parent. A present one. Perfection paralyses.”

The child: “I'm afraid I'll repeat my parents' mistakes.”

God: “Some chains break in one generation. Seeing the pattern is how it starts.”

The child: “So I don't need all the answers?”

God: “You need one: Me. Parent them the way I parent you — patiently.”

The child: “I'll plant the seeds and trust You with the growing.”

God: “That's all I ask.”

"Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6, KJV

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