I don't know if I believe anymore. Is any of this real?

Doubt feels like a private failure, best kept quiet. Job said all of it out loud and the answer he got was not a rebuke or an explanation — it was the size of the thing he was standing inside. He never received his answers. He said afterwards that he had seen.

The conversation

The child: “Daddy God, I don't know if I believe anymore. Is any of this real?”

God: “I'm not angry at that. Job asked it. David asked it. My Son asked it.”

The child: “What did You say to Job?”

God: “'Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth?'”

God: “I didn't scold him. I showed him the size of what he was standing in.”

The child: “That feels intimidating, not comforting.”

God: “It wasn't meant to intimidate. It was meant to reframe.”

God: “Job's answer: 'now mine eye seeth thee.' He saw, without answers.”

The child: “But I can't see You. That's the problem.”

God: “'Blessed are they that have not seen, and yet have believed.'”

The child: “What if I never resolve the doubt?”

God: “Then you're in good company. 'Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.'”

The child: “I don't understand You. But I'll keep seeking.”

God: “That is faith, not certainty.”

"Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? declare, if thou hast understanding." Job 38:4, KJV